John L. Young                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          5/21/06

UUCJ

Growing Up Spiritually

            Our spirituality, as Unitarian Universalists, is built upon the firm foundation of our primary tradition: your own direct experiences of mystery and wonder. Our faith is founded neither upon ancient dogmas nor modern ideological slogans, not upon inherited rites or grandparent’s epiphanies, but upon our personal ethical, philosophical, and ecstatic experiences. A search for truth is meaningless and worthless, however, if you don’t end up finding anything, and our Unitarian Universalist principles not only demand that you find something, but that what you find is personally responsible, loving, and sustainable for all. Our faith is not an easy nor a simple faith, but rather is a complex and demanding way of life. You cannot just join the club, play by the rules, and basically take orders from and turn over responsibility to other people. You have to make your own rules, but these rules need be unselfish, long-term, non-violent, and appropriately humble. As actress Helen Hayes said so well, “our human tragedy is not original sin but the tragedy of needing to grow up, to leave childish security and go out to fight for a new loveliness of your own making. It is sometimes at least a tragic task, and a lot of people don’t have the courage to do it.”

            In the Jewish book of Genesis, Joseph the youngest son of a big family is favored by his aging father, and Joseph has a dream. The rest of his brothers feel that Joseph is getting unfairly favorable treatment. His dream rubs in his favored status by implying that it comes from God and that it is going to continue forever. His brothers get even by throwing Joseph in a pit and then selling him into slavery. Ultimately, Joseph does fulfill his dream, but there are many years and hardships in between. Joseph becomes important through life-long learning. He becomes grown up enough to become generous and forgiving. Ethicist Sissela Bok said [in Secrets] “To mature is in part to realize that while complete intimacy and omniscient power cannot be had, but self-transcendence, growth, and closeness to others are nevertheless within one’s reach.”

            Jesus was the humble son of a carpenter until he was called to become a prophet when he was about 30 years old. Then he faces 40 days of trial with three major temptations: to turn stones to bread because of his hungers, to risk his life to prove his faith in God, and to worship idolatrously instead of saving his reverence for what is worthy of reverence. His successful responses were: To live by his spirit and not simply by his hungers; to realize that it is inappropriate to test God unfairly, risk what you are prepared to take personal responsibility for; finally, to spend your life living with reverence for what is worthy of reverence and only what is worthy of reverence.

            Successful maturation is a process of learning to trust your own spirit and not just continuing to live by impulse, habit or tradition. Growing up is learning to make choices and to take responsibility for them, not blaming your mistakes on your parents, God, or the system. Spiritual maturity is a life-long process of passionately living with reverence for what is worthy of reverence, thus, learning to turn away from our continuing temptations toward the wasteful, the cruel, the short-sighted, and the evil that exists in the world and in ourselves. As Virginia Woolf said, “one of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.”

            People that truly grow up spiritually are, indeed, the people who are happy and joyful. They are the real liberals and truly the people who live up to our Unitarian Universalist values. They have a great variety of ideas about the infinite, the eternal, the ultimately real, and the enduring, but they share our principles of justice, love, and interdependence, and they build their faiths on the firm foundations of their personal experiences of mystery and wonder. Growing up means realizing that you will never become invulnerable; growing up means accepting our human vulnerability.

            When we nurture that sort of maturity together, as the artist Judy Chicago said:
“Everywhere will be called Eden again, all that is divided will merge, compassion will be wedded to power, softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind. Both men and women will be gentle, and both women and men will be strong. No person will be subject to another’s will, and all will be rich, free, and varied. Then the greed of some will give way to the needs of many and all will share equally in the Earth’s abundance. Everyone will care for the sick, weak, and old, and all will nourish the young. Everyone will cherish life’s creatures and will live with harmony with each other and the Earth.”

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The Coming of Age Program

            Every other year for the last 28 years, I have met periodically for at least 5 months with those of our young adults who felt ready to come of age in the three Unitarian Universalist congregations I have served during that time. At the conclusion of this curriculum they may become members of the congregation if they choose, but the object of the course is not to clone UUs but to help more than 100 of our teenagers to grow spiritually.

            They have an adult mentor with some similar vocational or other interests in the congregation. They take a UU Quiz, write a personal statement of faith: pages, paragraph and a one sentence elevator speech. They have a community and congregational projects. This year our three students also participated in the Passover Seder, or one of our two Easter services.

            Erik Jacobson is the son and grandson of members of this congregation: Karen Van Hyning and Mariana Van Hyning. He has a generous group of adults in his life, and he has learned how to work with all of them. He is inventive, articulate, and a fairly good listener for a teenager. I was pleased to get to know him a little, and I believe that he will become a constructive entrepreneur in our society.

            Alyssa Reid’s father grew up as a Unitarian Universalist, and one set of grandparents are active now in the Vero Beach congregation. Her step-mother, Alicia Reid, has been good about getting Alyssa to class. Alyssa is a devoted daughter and sister. She is quietly self-assured and energetically imaginative and creative. I never quite felt like we connected, but she came to class, and she made her own points of view vivid when she felt clear about them.

            I have seen Jack Rohal grow up. His sister, Christine, was in an earlier Coming of Age class, and I have worked closely with his mother on religious education matters. Jack did a great job at the Beach Easter Service. I am impressed with his close friendships in the congregation and with his kind and generous demeanor. His people skills are impressive.

            I am pleased to present to the congregation our three Coming of Age students for 2006: Erik Jacobson, Alyssa Reid, and Jack Rohal.